If You Want To Touch Her, Ask
by FutatsuNinja
Summary: Songfic. One-shot. SanxMir. Miroku vows that he'll win Sango over by not touching her. Confusion, deep conversation, and romance.


A/N- This is a songfic to Shania Twain's If You Want To Touch Her, Ask. I got the idea months ago, and this has gone through numerous rewrites to become the story it is today. In fact, it's a completely different story than it originally was. But oh well. So, please review. Second chapter will be review responses.  
  
If You Want to Touch Her, Ask  
  
It was getting out of hand. Even he knew it. Sure, it started as a way to protect himself and anyone unlucky enough to love him when the curse killed him. He was never around long enough for any meaningful feelings to develop. Thoe who would accept his offer just like that were far from what he truly wanted.  
  
But it was all different now, had been different since he had first met Sango. At first sight—or perhaps second sight, since he had been too busy worrying about the evil hanyou backing her at first-he had felt that she was the one person he wanted to ask his famous question to seriously. So while he had never brought that up, he still needed to make sure that if the curse killed him, she wouldn't be attached to him and get heartbroken. Thus the never-ending situation that always left him injured and her angry. Though sometimes it was just for the fun of it...  
  
That was beside the point. What mattered now was that they were hot on Naraku's trail, the final battle eminent. Soon he would be able to ask seriously, and he might have pushed her away. So it had to stop now.  
  
Therefore he would give up the act with the village girls, would even give up touching Sango without her permission. Perhaps soon she would stop seeing him as a letch and he would be able to win her over. Yes, by the time they beat Naraku he would be ready to ask and she to accept.  
  
**_Let me let ya in on a secret  
  
How to treat a woman right  
  
If you're lookin' for a place in her heart  
  
It ain't gonna happen overnight_**  
  
He had been walking behind her for so long already today without doing anything. Not touching her was killing him. Sure, he was trying to be good, but he just couldn't stand it anymore. He reached out and touched her.  
  
The reaction, having been repeated so many times before, was almost instantaneous. In one fluid motion she turned, slapped him, and turned back to continue walking. After that she sent him occasional glares over her shoulder that warned him to stay far away.  
  
Miroku sighed, his hand held to his now red and throbbing cheek. Sango had hit him harder than normal; she must have been particularly angry that day. Was she angry at him? But that didn't make sense; he hadn't done anything to make her mad today until that last one. She didn't usually get so anry at the first one, but after she forgot how many the count was at. So was she mad at someone else? There didn't seem to be any tension between Sango and anyone in the group but himself. 'Strange,' he thought. He'd have to speak to her later, perhaps.  
  
**_First ya gotta learn to listen  
  
To understand her deepest thoughts  
  
She needs to know you can be friends  
  
Before she'll give you all she's got  
_**  
Sango walked along next to Kagome, chatting aimlessly while truly lost in her thoughts. Houshi-sama had left her alone almost all day. In fact, he had been leaving her mostly alone for a week or two now. She should be overjoyed, she supposed, but it was just so unusual that it worried her. Perhaps she was reading too much into it, but what if he had lost interest in her? But that wasn't fair! How could he lose interest just when she was starting to like like him?  
  
Suddenly a far worse thought occurred to Sango. What if he had never really had any interest in the first place? What if Houshi-sama's attention toward her had just been to keep himself occupied until the reached the next village? After all, she was a woman who did a man's work. In the villages he always went for the sweet-looking, delicate girls, and she was neither sweet-looking nor delicate. It was so clear now! He had never even seriously considered her! That's why he'd never asked her to bear him a child! For him it was just a game to keep himself amused when there was a lack of village girls, and he hadn't asked her so that she would understand that it was just tomfoolery with her. How cruel fate, that the man she lover would never love her in return.  
  
She was so caught up in her thoughts that she had stopped answering Kagome, who eventually left her walking alone to go speak to Inuyasha. She had even missed the group stopping and starting to set up camp. The only reason she came out of her thoughts was a hand that caught her arm, bringing her to a complete halt.  
  
**_If you start from the heart  
  
You'll see love is gonna play it's part_**  
  
She looked at the owner to find the very subject of her distraction. "What?" Sango snapped at him.  
  
Miroku let go of her arm, startled by her obviously extreme anger. "I was just wondering whether you were planning to camp with us or if you were going to continue all night?"  
  
Sango looked around quickly to find Kagome, Inuyasha, and Shippou nowhere in sight; clearly Houshi-sama had been right about them camping already. Her embarassment over her inattentiveness stained her cheeks. "Sumimasen. I'll come back to the camp in a few minutes. I would like a moment to collect my thoughts."  
  
"I was actually hoping for a chance to speak with you. If you don't mind, that is." Miroku petitioned her.  
  
Sango's face paled in sudden dread and she gulped. 'Here it is. He's going to tell me how it was just a meaningless game and that it's all over now' "I...I suppose if you wish to speak with me, Houshi-sama, now would be a good time."  
  
**_If you wanna get to know her  
  
Really get inside her mind  
  
If you wanna move in closer  
  
Take it slow, yeah take your time  
_**  
Miroku sighed in relief. If Sango was going to let them sort out whatever it was that was making her mad, she couldn't be as angry as he had thought. Perhaps if the conversation worked out right, he could broach the other subject that had been on his mind all day. Their long quest was nearing an end. Soon he'd be free of his curse and free to start a family. He could hardly imagine a real family.  
  
Sitting on the ground he motioned for her to do the same. When she had, he started. "I couldn't help buy notice you were angry with me all day. I was hoping we could talk over whatever is making you mad."  
  
That surprised Sango, and her face clearly betrayed her astonishment. She couldn't help it; this did not seem like a comment that would begin the conversation she was expecting. "Uh, wait, what?"  
  
He looked at her for a minute. "You didn't think I didn't notice, did you?"  
  
"I wasn't mad at you. Well, I was in a way, but I wasn't really. I mean...I don't know." She looked away from him, her eyes darting to and fro.  
  
Miroku took hold of one of her hands. Her eyes flew back to him to stare, shocked, into his eyes. "Sango, please tell me what you're angry. Please, what's wrong?"  
  
**_You must start from the heart and then...  
  
If you wanna touch her  
  
Really wanna touch her  
  
If you wanna touch her, ask!_**  
  
Taking a deep breath, Sango considered her answer carefully. It was difficult to think clearly, what with her heart pounding from his close proximity. She didn't want to just blurt out the first thing that came to mind. Unfortunately, even if she gave her most thought-over, serious answer, would he laugh at her for being silly? Or worse yet, would her fears prove correct?  
  
Was she going to tell him or not? It seemed she might, but she was hesitating to say anything. Why? Usually when she was angry she would've just yelled at him and stomped off, and it would all go back to normal soon after. What was so different now? He didn't want to ask again. It would seem pathetic, like he was begging. He just continued to look at her expectantly.  
  
Sango shifted nervously. "I need your word that no matter what, you won't laught at what I'm about to say."  
  
Miroku was relieved; she was going to speak after all. "I promise. I wouldn't laugh."  
  
Sango nodded and took another deep breath to calm herself before speaking. She had never expected to have to give such an obvious indication of her feelings to anyone. Even less so in a situation like this. She had no choice now. She said quickly, "You don't like me and you never did and it was all just a horrible game and now it's over." There was no turning back now.  
  
**_A little physical attraction  
  
Romantic, old-fashioned charm  
  
And a lot of love and tenderness  
  
Is gonna get you into her arms_**  
  
Miroku was quiet for quite awhile, contemplationg this. Finally he stood. "It seems I shall have to redouble my efforts." He stated cryptically. "Please join us when you have sorted your thoughts." After taking several steps he paused to look over his shoulder at her. "And Sango. The game, as you say, may be over, but it's definitely not because I don't like you."  
  
Sango was left trying to understand just exactly what he meant. After awhile she gave up and went back to camp.

* * *

When he had taken his vow a month ago, he hadn't figured on how hard it would be to go through with it. Of course he knew it would be impossible to just quit, but even cutting back slowly was difficult. He would do it, though. He needed to in order to make Sango fall in love with him. Going to talk with her would probably help, as well. She had been injured in their last battle...  
  
Miroku got up from the place by the fire where he had until recently been contemplating and walked over next to the seated Sangom. "May I speak with you?"  
  
The suspicious look she gave him made him feel somewhat guilty. That was how far away his antics had pushed her. It made him renew his vow, deciding to redouble his efforts. "Sure," she answered finally. The two of them moved off aways from the rest of the group, seating themselves on the ground.  
  
**_If you start from the heart  
  
You'll see love is gonna play it's part_**  
  
He spoke first, asking her, "So how's your arm?"  
  
She brushed her fingers over the injured limb lightly. "It's getting better, if slowly."  
  
"Are you having any trouble? Is there anything I can do for you?" Miroku asked.  
  
Sango shook her head, "I'm getting along fine."  
  
The pair fell silent, lost in their thoughts while staring at the first. After some minutes Miroku broke the silence. "Have you thought about what you'll do after this whole battle is over?"  
  
"Not really," Sango answered with a distant expression.  
  
"Really? Not ever?" questioned Miroku.  
  
"Mostly I wonder about how it will end, not what I will do after it does. Who will end up surviving? What will happed to Kohaku? I worry, because I know we're going to have to take his shard if we're going to complete the Shikon no Tama." Sango's eyes were flooded with unshed tears.  
  
**_If you wanna get to know her  
  
Really get inside her mind  
  
If you wanna move in closer  
  
Take it slow, yeah take your time_**  
  
Miroku panicked. What was he supposed to do if she cried? He'd never had to deal with a crying woman before. "Sango, it'll be all right. It might even be better for him if he can't survive without the shard." When Sango turned on him with a hard glare, Miroku brought up his hands in defense. "Now, now, let me explain. Sure, we can free him from Naraku's control. But when all his memories come flooding back, all the innocent people-strangers, friends, and family alike-that he's killed, what can we do then? If we could find him peace in this world, of course it would be better for him here, but I'm afraid that only death can sooth him. I'm sorry, Sango, but that is what I honestly think."  
  
"What would you know?!" Sango shook with indignation. "You don't have a little brother under the control of that evil creature! How could you possibly think you have the right to tell me what's best for him?" Her tears were renewed, now falling in angry droves.  
  
He reached out to touch her shoulder, but she batted it away. "Look, Sango, I'm sorry. It wasn't my place to say such a thing. I don't know what it's like to have my brother be a puppet. But I know what it's like to be cursed by Naraku. I know what it's like to have something done to me that makes me kill. And I do know what it's like to have family die because of that devilman."  
  
**_You must start from the heart and then...  
  
If you wanna touch her  
  
Really wanna touch her  
  
If you wanna touch her, ask!_**  
  
Sango wanted to say something. She hadn't considered his pain, but just her own. The only two words she could mangae to say, however, were, "Oh, Houshi-sama."  
  
"As long as I can remember, my father's kazaana would sometimes be uncontrollable, for the longer a kazaana has existed and the more it has swallowed, the wilder it becomes. For minutes at a time my father's prayer beads would fail to seal the death portal beneath. My mother was sucked into his kazaana on such an occasion. I watched as my father was eaten by first the guilt and then the curse itself, disappearing one day in a single big wind. And I know it will happen to me." While he spoke tears had started to stream down his face. He stopped speaking for a moment to try to compose himself.  
  
"Houshi-sama, I'm sorry. I didn't think-" Sango tried to interject, but he started to speak again.  
  
"I'm no stranger to all the suffering caused by Naraku." Miroku stated. "Maybe I shouldn't have advised you on your brother. But I do know that the memories my father had of innocent deaths tortured him. I know that I have many such deaths staining my own hand, no matter how hard I've worked to avoid them. So I merely said what I truly believe, from my own experience." His voice was chock full of emotion and his face was wet from the flood of his eyes.  
  
**_Let me let you in on a secret  
  
How to treat a woman right  
  
If you're lookin' for a place in her heart  
  
It ain't gonna happen overnight_**  
  
Sango was speechless. She had never seen him make such a display of emotion, and it was all her fault. It didn't look like he was going to say anything more, so she tried to search for the right thing to say. Finding there was no such thing as 'the right thing to say', Sango merely said what first came to her head. "Houshi-sama...I didn't know...I..."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Sango." Miroku gave a watery smile, made sad by his tears.  
  
It was heartwrenching. "How can you act like this? It's obvious how much pain you're in. Stop being so brave!"  
  
The fake smile slowly melted off his face, leaving just the tears. "May I borrow your shoulder?"  
  
Sango nodded and Miroku leaned over to bury his face in her shoulder. With Houshi-sama slumped against her, Sango was unsure what to do. Was she supposed to comfort him or just let him cry? The best solution she could come up with was to put her arms around him, which she did. A moment later she realized that she, too, was crying. For some time the pair sat in silent tears.  
  
Miroku pulled away first. "Thank you for the load. But it's made you cry."  
  
Sango wiped furiously at her eyes. "I'm just so sorry, Houshi-sama. I didn't know all you'd been through, how much you hurt, too."  
  
"You didn't know. I never told anyone." He answered. "But I have a request for you."  
  
"What is it?" She asked immediately.  
  
"Call me by my name."  
  
**_If you wanna get to know her  
  
Really get inside her mind  
  
If you wanna move in closer  
  
Take it slow, yeah take your time  
  
You must start from the heart and then...  
_**  
It had been a few months since he made his original vow. He and Sango had had several meaningful talks since that first one. And today was the big event his whole vow had been centered around. Naraku was dead, his kazaana was gone. And now, he and Sango were alone. So it was now or never. "Sango, I have one thing to ask you."  
  
She queried, "What is it?"  
  
He took one last deep breath and plunged in. "May I kiss you?"  
  
She nodded. He closed the space between them in one movement, his arms encircling her and his lips capturing hers.  
  
**_If you wanna touch her  
  
Really wanna touch her  
  
If you wanna touch her, ask!_**


End file.
